In my twenty eight plus years on the planet, I have been called many things; excessively narcissistic and self-obsessed, selfish, careless, arrogant yet insecure, two-faced, blonde, and most recently, an ‘aggressive typist.’
All true.
The latest charge is no less accurate. Upon hearing about my mid-twenties long ambition, to sit alone in a silent church with my thoughts, Mr. G had the gall to accuse me of trying to ‘engineer an epiphany.’
Of course, I was.
“Well, how else am I supposed to have one?”
And he calls me blonde?!
Now…I’m not a religious person, but I like to stay in touch with the spiritual, whatever that means. I believe in the universe, and whilst I don’t think that fate predetermines everything that happens, I like to imagine that there is something out there.
I know that horoscopes are bollocks, and that everyone who reads one makes whatever is written fit their life, but I don’t care: sometimes, they are ‘spot on!’ I know that when my gay best friend calls me on a Sunday afternoon, whilst I am thinking about calling him, that it’s just a coincidence… but it’s ‘spooky yet wonderful’, right? I know that when I read about the attributes of the Chinese rat and proudly exclaim, “It’s just so me!” that I probably just focused on all the good bits and ignored all the bad, but us water rats are complex characters don’t you know?! When it comes to me and spirituality, ignorance is bliss.
And with this in mind, yesterday, at St. Peter’s church in Market Bosworth, I fulfilled my wish.
Now, I’ll repeat, I am not in any wayreligious but I did happen to pick up a book that quoted different bible passages for each day of the year. Here’s what Mark (13:32-37) had to say about the subject of ‘being awake’ on August 23rd.
“But about that day or hour no one knows, neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Beware, keep alert; for you do not know when the time will come. It is like a man going on a journey, when he leaves home and puts his slaves in charge, each with his work, and commands the doorkeeper to be on the watch. Therefore, keep awake—for you do not know when the master of the house will come, in the evening, or at midnight, or at cockcrow, or at dawn, or else he may find you asleep when he comes suddenly. And what I say to you I say to all: Keep awake.”
The passage was clearly ‘just so me!’ that I had to take down the details in my iPhone*.
*N.B. Always bring technology to an epiphany.
I’m not saying that I had an epiphany; I wouldn’t even call it a mini-piphany, but considering all my recent feelings about being ‘awake,’ I found it to be one of those ‘spooky yet wonderful’ coincidences.
And I sat there. At my pew. Taking in my surroundings, and enjoying the silence.
As a moment it was more ‘Eat Pray Love’ than Archimedes in the bath tub.
But it was nice.
And I felt.
Awake.
